Spring Awakening

Spring is in the air. For weeks we’ve been flooded with images of bunnies and colored eggs, shamrocks and green beer. Daylight savings time has begun, and the beaches here in Florida are filled with vacationers from the north weary of winter weather. I was talking with a colleague who lives in Minnesota and was shocked to hear that only recently have green patches begun to appear in his snow covered front yard.

There are actually two definitions of spring. Astronomical spring is based on the position of Earth in relation to the sun whereas meteorological spring is related to the annual temperature trend. Unlike meteorological spring, which falls on March 1st every year, astronomical spring can vary in date. This year the equinox occurred on Monday March 20th. One of only two days a year when day and night are at equilibrium. We are moving into the half of the year with more daylight than darkness. This year's astronomical spring was followed the next day by a new moon. Yet another symbol of moving from darkness to light.

There are many religious traditions of importance during this season. Growing up as a Catholic, this season included ashes on foreheads and a commitment to forty days of giving up a vice or two in anticipation of the resurrection and Easter celebration. Jews prepare for Passover which celebrates the Biblical story of the Israelites' escape from slavery in Egypt. Hindu’s across northern India celebrate Holi with colorful festivals to celebrate the arrival of spring and the triumph of good over evil. Celebrations are occurring around the world celebrating new beginnings and the emergence from death, enslavement or darkness. Spring is the time for the planting of seeds and manifesting change.

This is a great time to start something new or to recommit to balancing practices you may have left behind. After years of practicing and teaching Yogic techniques, I have allowed some things to fall away. While I still have a daily meditation practice, I have not been journaling as regularly as I once did nor have I been consistent with my blog. I find that journaling is a great way to get things out of your head. In fact, I teach techniques to pair journaling and reflective writing with mediation. I find that when I write things down it is sometimes easier to let go of them. Not only had I noticed that my journal entries had become less frequent but I also felt some actual resistance to restarting. Yesterday I took one step in the direction of bringing back this practice by attending a journaling workshop and today I’m writing this article.

I’ve learned that whenever I’m facing adversity, am triggered by something, or simply have an awareness, it helps me to look within and start to unpack “the why.” Journaling is a great way to go about this. I consider: What is the lesson for me? What is it about me that causes this reaction? Why is this showing up?

What do you want to start anew, and what do you want to manifest? A relationship, financial security, or maybe professional growth? Now is the time to plant those seeds. Ask yourself what one step can you take today to move closer to that reality. Just take five minutes and put pen to paper. Then, take one small step in that direction. Why not take advantage of this season's time for fresh starts to move your life in a balancing direction? If you need help and are ready for change, reach out to me. I can help.

How to get really good at meditation

Mindfulness Monthly  June  2022

I often get asked, “ How do is get really good at mediation?”   Interestingly the goal is not to get good at meditation.   The goal is to meditate.   Like the ubiquitous Nike slogan suggests, “Just Do It”   Success comes slowly over time with regular practice.  Most of the time, the benefits don’t show up on the mat. 

The benefits of a regular meditation practice are likely to show up out there in the real world.   What is often reported is that there is a sense of being less reactive out there in the world.  I think of it as a practice that lengthens my fuse.  Through meditation we become familiar with how our brain works.  We gain self awareness and often an understanding of the importance of breath in helping regulate how we feel.  

Here are 6 tips on how to make meditation part of your life.  

• Don’t over complicate it.

I used to think that I had to be seated and motionless, in a particular posture in a perfectly quiet space with incense burning with zen music playing in the background.   The fact of the matter is that you can meditate almost any time and almost anywhere.  The idea is to be still but that doesn’t mean you can’t scratch your nose or adjust your position.    Candles, music, decorations and  incense are not needed. 

• Practice often / create a habit.    

As I mentioned before, results show up over time.   You can meditate daily or even a few times a day. You are building a habit. Try a run of 21 days and if you miss a day that's okay too. 

• Give yourself a break.

I mean this in a couple of ways.  If you miss a day that’s okay.  Stepping away from your practice for a day or two is perfectly fine.    If some days it’s just too challenging to sit, don’t.   You can also give yourself a break during your practice.   Learn to use self-compassion when frustrated.    Nobody is perfect and nobody can stop their mind completely.  I’ve been at this pretty regularly and my brain still wants to make a grocery list.  When that happens I note it and re-focus on my breath or body. 

• Fit it in to your life,   

Some of you might be thinking … several times a day?!   I don’t have time for that.  A meditation can certainly last 15- 30 minutes or longer but it is still a meditation even if it is just a minute or two.   I use reminders or triggers throughout the day.   One of my favorites is while I’m at a stoplight.   Just taking 60 - 90 seconds to check in with the breath, how my body is feeling,  and the quality of your thoughts can make a huge difference.  I have a chance to pause, notice an make adjustments.  There will always be someone behind you to give you a reminder when the light turns green.

• Keep it interesting / mix it up. 

For over a year I had a regular practice of getting up at the crack of dawn or before dawn in the winter months to meditate.  I would take my mediation blanket into my backyard and lay on the ground and do a 15 to 30 minute sit.   Fortunately I could do this year round here in Florida.   Over time this process became just another to-do item on my checklist.  It was becoming less effective.   I tried different methods… laying in bed before getting up, walking meditations, sitting outside on a bench on  my lunch break, going to public spaces libraries, malls and other indoor spaces. 

• Watch for what shows up in life.  

Feeling good isn’t necessarily the goal.  You might feel relaxed or calm or even sleepy during or after a sit.   While that’s great, that's not where the transformational change shows up.   Many regular practitioners report that big changes happening in their life.   I’ve had life come at me really hard as it inevitably will.   I’ve been surprised by my composure and my ability to roll with the punches since I’ve had a regular practice. 

  I’ll be covering this and more in my in person workshop on Jun 12, 2022 at 2pm in St. Petersburg.   If you are interested in attending my workshop or interested in a free one-on-one conversation on zoom or in person visit my website.    www.becomingwhoweare.com. 

Yoga as a Prescriptive Treatment

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.   I wanted to acknowledge that.    We live in a world that can at times be very stressful.    Even prior to the pandemic rates of anxiety, depression and loneliness were are record highs across the globe.    The global pandemic is recognized to have pushed many to the edge.   Most people’s anxiety runs at a constant high.   Over time this can have significant health consequences.   There is hope and solutions out there for you. 

I know personally that the isolation and fear and loss during the pandem had a profound impact on BOTH my physical and mental health.   Fortunately my yoga practice has afforded me with mind-body awareness that I did not previously have.  I had the awareness and tools available to move myself to a balanced place. 

Yoga is so much more than a physical practice.   If you attend my classes or have heard me speak I always take the opportunity to introduce the concept that Yoga is more a Brain and Life practice than it is a physical practice.   In asana (posture) yoga classes we are moving our bodies.   We are stretching and strengthening  and working with our breath.   The body component is undeniable.   Much of western yoga classes have focused solely on the physical and left out these bigger transformational aspects of Yoga.    If a yoga class solely focused on the body with no mention of the brain then it merely another exercise class.   In my training I learned that  All Yoga done Authentically is a Mediation.    If a class is body,  body,  body,  with no focus awareness and noticing our thoughts then I don’t really consider that  yoga.     You can’t have Mind-Body practice without the mind.   

This meditative or brain-centric  part of the practice is where you can do real work.   Work that will lead to transformational change.    Initially you create awareness of the brain.   It might be a busy brain, an anxious disposition, loneliness, depression or something else.    With this awareness and the appropriate tools you can start to take action to move yourself in a balancing direction.      

I believe the mat as an analogy of life.   If something shows up on the mat — Overthinking, competitiveness, negative self talk, perfectionism, anticipation,  —- it usually shows up in your life.   With that awareness we can try out letting go and being in the present moment.   Accepting what is.    Over time you can move this skill set out into the world. 

On June 12 I’m hosting an  in-person workshop in St. Petersburg titled Tools from the Yogi’s Toolkit.  We will explore methods to assess where we are out of balance and sample the practices designed to move you toward equilibrium, toward harmony, toward equanimity or even temperedness.  More information on my home page.

Non-Judgement as a path to Finding Equilibrium

One of the foundational principles of yoga is Balance; and I’m not talking about how still you can hold a Tree pose.    I’m talking about balance as in harmony or evenness.   In Spanish the word for balance is equilibrio,  like the word equilibrium in English.    From The Latin Root Aequi Meaning Equal, And Libra Meaning Balance.    How do we find this balance in life?     A good start is taking an assessment without judgment.  

I often share in my asana classes that there is no Good or Bad in assessing your practice.   That statement is often met with puzzled looks.  I can relate; It's a tough concept to take on.   During check in at the beginning of class I ask my participants to look at 3 things, one at a time.   They are the Breath, the Body and the Brain.     I often suggest that we try to look at these things objectively.   In other words we are looking at but not judging these things.   A smooth and even breath wouldn’t be labeled  good and a tight short breath isn’t bad.   We are the observer, the curious noticer.   We are the scientists taking inventory of what IS.    “What’s going on with Bob’s body today?”  I ask myself in my own practice.    I struggled with not labeling.    Living in a world where almost everything is judged and rated it was hard for me to look at things, particularly self, without qualifying or judging.   Unfortunately, when we jump to rating, grading or judging we miss the opportunity to really see what is there.   Our brain is trained to be quick at assessing and solving problems.  Quick just isn’t always efficient.  Sometimes in an effort to judge or qualify we don’t see the whole picture. 

When we are on the mat we have a chance to practice slowing down and getting a greater understanding of the nuances of what’s going on in our brain and body.    Let’s look at an example.   When we are in a meditation or yoga class we might look at the busy brain as a bad thing.   “I can’t stop my mind” is a common statement from students in my class.   “I can’t either”, I will often respond.  Meditation is noticing the thoughts not stopping them.    There is really nothing wrong with a busy brain, when you need a brain to be busy.   When we are in the midst of our lives we most often multi-task.   We may be driving, we might also be talking on the phone, or listening to a podcast,  or rehearsing a presentation.   Where would we be in our busy lives  if we could only be expected to do one thing at a time.  So there is nothing wrong with a multitasking brain, until we can’t turn it off.   You lay down to sleep and the brain is still busy and you can’t stop.  You have an argument with your partner and you get stuck ruminating about it the rest of your day and can’t get anything done.     This is where awareness and balance come in.   

When we are on the mat there is an opportunity to watch and learn about our brain and body. .   As you practice meditation and yoga over and over you begin to get an understanding of the particular things your brain does and observe the body.    You have a chance to really see what’s going on.   It’s not until you have awareness that you can take action.   You notice your brain is particularly busy and you can try different techniques to calm that busy brain.   Focusing on the breathing or the body sensations or sounds in the room.   It’s work but then when you are faced with something going on in life that is out of balance you have a chance to try out some of these techniques in real time out in the world.   

With greater awareness I’ve found I have more opportunities.   Hmm…  My lower back is really tight today.   Would it be helpful for me to spend more time stretching and opening up my lower back?   Oh my brain is really firing today.   Should I slow down and take some time to sit still today?     I’m feeling sluggish.   Would it be helpful for me to move my body or is it time to take a nap.      When I judge or qualify as good or bad my options are more limited.   

Are you moving in a balancing direction?   Transformational change takes time; and sometimes you need the help and support of someone else.   In addition to private yoga lessons I also provide personalized Yogic Coaching.

Becoming Who We Are

…. a path to Self Love.

Happy Valentines Day! During this time where many people in the world are celebrating love I wanted to talk about what I feel is the most important kind of Love — Self Love. Many of us run around looking for love outside of ourselves not knowing that happiness is an inside job. My mentor and first coach has often said that two halves don’t make a whole. So if you are out there looking for a life partner or waiting for that special person in your life to complete you, it might be time to look within. Knowing, accepting, and loving yourself is the path to whole, your path to serenity.

I was thinking about the name of my company, Becoming Who We Are, and how I came up with it.

Just over 5 years ago, I was inspired to buy 5 copies of The Velveteen Rabbit. Let me correct that I was instructed to buy the books. It was late 2018 and just a couple of months after I had experienced a Spiritual Awakening of sorts. My intuition and listening skills were in high gear. So who was it that told me to buy the books? That’s a great question. It’s what I now refer to as a “download”. I just knew that I knew that I knew that I had to buy the book and 5 copies to be exact. I had evidence that acting on my intuition had lead me to amazing things and I at that moment ordered the books. I also purchased a audio version of the book on Audible.

If you are not familiar with the story, I recommend picking up a copy. If you know the story I think it’s worth another read. This work has been around awhile. It was originally published in 1922 by Margery Williams. I know I had heard the story as a child but don’t recall my family owing a copy. I did, however, received the book as a baby shower gift when I was in the process of adopting my first daughter Justin and often read it to her and then her sister Destiny as a bedtime story. I’ve probably read it several hundred times.

For those of you who missed it the work chronicles the story of a stuffed rabbit's desire to become real. At one point rabbit and his friend the Skin Horse are conversing about how one becomes "Real” It had been suggested by some rabbits in the garden that rabbit wasn’t Real. When rabbit posed the question to his friend the Skin Horse answers,

“You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.” “Does it hurt?” asked rabbit. “ Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are real you don’t mind being hurt?”

Personally I believe the book is about self-love. I’ve read many other interpretations of this work and this is mine. I believe that you only become real or whole when you learn to love yourself. I had no idea why I had to buy five copies but I did. One by one the 5 recipients, over the course of almost a year appeared in my life. Each for a different reason, each of them found meaning in both the book and accepting the gift.

I learned that while being loved by others is amazing you have to love yourself first. It's my belief that at the core of dis-ease in most people, mental and physical is a lack of self-love. Additionally and sometimes separately we wear a mask and or do not allow their true authentic self shine through. I know for me it was both.

So I named my transformational coaching business “Becoming Who We Are” for this is the adventure. Those of us that are doing big and transformational work on self are becoming. At the core of this process is knowing, accepting and loving ourselves. It’s a life long pursuit for those of us who chose it. It’s not an easy path but one of great fulfillment. I haven’t reached Nirvana yet but I am enjoying my adventure on this path and helping others who are ready for change and willing to do the work. I know it’s a choice to either change and evolve or not.

Enjoy the one holiday devoted to LOVE and start with YOU.

Namaste.

Be Here Now

This idea of being in the moment has been around for a long time. What does it even mean?

Let’s start by looking at the opposite of being present. That would be multitasking. While we're on the subject, the word multitasking first appeared in 1965 IBM report talking about the capabilities of its latest computer. That's right, it wasn't until the 1960s that anyone could even claim to be good at multitasking.

Some of you are old enough to remember a time before multitasking. We were probably doing it but we weren’t calling it that. While your brain is capable of doing multiple things at once it doesn’t always do a very good job of it.. Some would say it is just bouncing very quickly from one task to another to another and back again. I believe that just because you can do it doesn’t mean that it’s a best practice. And what about when you want to turn off the multitasking brain.

And multitasking is only part of the problem. With each issue before us we are thinking about past experiences, anticipating a series of potential futures based on what action we take.

Modern technology and the ubiquitous mobile device have only exacerbated this tendency toward doing seven things at once. As I write this I have pop-up notifications on my computer, my cell phone is dinging and my dishwasher is calling out a melody to let me know it’s done. .

Only recently have I been able to practice being present. In any mediation, which is really what Yoga is at its heart, there is this idea of being in the moment. When I first settle in to a sit and take that first breath I start to settle in and remember, “Oh yeah, how nice this feels” Minutes earlier my mind is racing and going in 17 different directions. I’m still thinking but the volume of those racing thought is in the background now. Now I get to just be. Ahhh. Not ruminating about the past, or predicting the future. No planning no, list making or organizing. Just the one thing. It might be the breath or noticing the sensation of the body or even ambient sound. I remember the better way of being. Mediation is an opportunity to practice being in the present, give it a try.

So what’s so great about the present. Your life is here. The sound of the wind in the trees, or your favorite song, the smell of the cool crisp winter air with a hint of your neighbors fireplace; seeing the sunbeams shine through the window; having a conversation with a friend, the laughing baby, the stumbling overly excited puppy, the rich taste of that first sip of coffee in the morning, watching a butterfly light on a flower.

Life is better when you learn to present and appreciate every moment.

Namaste my friends.

From Yoga class participant to Yoga Teacher to Yogi.

What is the difference between doing Yoga and being a Yogi ?

When I embarked on my journey to become a yoga teacher I thought I knew how much more than a physical practice yoga really was.   As I moved through my initial 200 hour training and on to my 500 hour advanced training, I saw a shift.   I understood that the initial training would take between 6 to 8 months to complete.   My initial thought was,  “I will do it in 5!”   It was only after completing these first 200 hours (in 6 months I might add) that I realized that the process of becoming a yogi is just that… a process.   It is a “becoming” not a doing.   As I moved into my 500 hour portion of my training I slowed down.   This slowing down was the balancing practice for my disposition.   I had experienced my first big insight.   

My yogi often said,  “Yoga is hard; but it’s not always hard where you expect it to be.”   This slowing down was, and still is the hardest part of my yoga practice.    

Seven signs you are a yogi.  

1. You stop looking at Yoga as only a PHYSICAL practice.   Yes the asana (posture) practice is about your body but Yoga is more a BRAIN and LIFE practice than anything else.  

2. You look to change within.  Your self awareness is at a place that when you are triggered you look within for the solution rather than to change something on the outside.   And we are talking about transformational change in your life and how you see things (see #1 above)  

3. Meditation becomes uncomplicated.   Knowing that meditation is at the core of almost all yoga practices you regularly practice mindfulness practices throughout your day.   While eating, while at a stoplight, while taking a walk.   

4. You know when to BREATHE.  You understand the importance of breath, when to breathe and how to breathe to get yourself unstuck.  You will also have a greater awareness when your breathing is off. 

5. You have compassion.  This is a biggie.   You not only have gratitude for people, places and things that trigger you but you have compassion for others wherever they are in their journey.    You learn to see yourself in others who trigger you.  These folks are my greatest teachers.   Maybe an earlier version of yourself but also perhaps the current version.   You are learning SELF-compassion. 

6. You feel your feelings.  You learn to lean into your feelings learning that all feelings are necessary and valuable.  There is no light without dark.  Without contrast the world is a very bland and boring place.

7. You respond rather than react.  Last but certainly not least you notice that there is not an urgency to react to everything that comes your way.  

There are certainly more than 7 results from a regular practice of yoga.   For more information and when you are ready to get what I have, reach out to me.

A New Year - Intentions v. Resolutions

Happy New year. I hope your 2022 is off to a great start. Mine certainly is and here’s why.

I’ve learned to set intentions rather than resolutions. Have you made a New Year’s Resolution? Have you already blown it. I used to struggle with this concept and even in the best years fond myself feeling like I had failed when my “resolution” didn’t hold up. Then I found a softer way to transformational change.

Let’s look at the definitions

res·o·lu·tion /rezəˈlo͞oSH(ə)n/ - a firm decision to do or not to do something.

in·ten·tion /inˈten(t)SH(ə)n/ - a thing intended; an aim or plan.

Which one feels better to you? Hint: There’s no right answer. For me an intention feels more like setting up for success rather than setting up for failure. One of the foundational principles of Yoga is balance. We are moving from a direction of a behavior or activity that is not balancing for us in the direction of balance. There is never a finish line with this process. If I intend to do something to me it doesn’t feel as if I’ve failed if I’ve seen some movement in a balancing direct.

A good friend sent me a quote from Elizabeth Gilbert “You are not required to justify your existence on earth through constant improvement. You are not a Fortune 500 company; you don’t have to show increasing profits. You don’t have to earn your right to be her by putting yourself to higher and higher standards. You just get to be here, you belong here.” This quote made me feel so relieved. It actually made me feel JOY. I get to work on myself if and when I want. I love learning about how my brain operates and how I move through the world.

My first coach is a fan of Angel Numbers. I wasn’t nearly as opened minded when I met her over 5 years ago but what I’ve realized is there is no bad that can come from being open, listening and believing in the possibilities. There is plenty of bad things that can come from being the opposite of these things. In a nutshell Angel Numbers are recurring sequences of numbers that have spiritual significance. There are 3 2’s in 2022. The angel number 222. :) Here’s what I found….

We all have access to a powerful tool for creating our life experience: our mind. By choosing to focus on positive thoughts, you can create a different life. Angel number 222 tells you that your positive thoughts and visualizations are about to become reality.

Is it time to create a positive intention and visualization for the new year. It’s never too late. I’m setting the intention of being more consistent with my Mindfulness Monday blog post and growing my audience.

I’m planning a workshop for later in the month to look at how to identify where you are out of balance, how to word your intention and how to tweak it along the way. More information to follow.

Walking Meditation or is it Mindful Walking

I’ve been walking just about every day since just after the pandemic started. I believe it was mid April 2020. I work from home and the isolation was making me a bit stir crazy. They gyms were all closed back then and I knew I needed to get moving to feel better. I started slowly worked my way up to 8 miles a day which I learned wasn’t balancing for my knees. I’m settling in at a target between 6 and 7 miles a day. I’m not bragging it’s just a fact. It takes me about 2 and a half hours.

Someone in one of my yoga classes asked me how I find the time. I asked them how much time they spend in front of the TV or surfing the internet. Touchet.

So with fall weather upon us and having set our clocks back and it’s al little lighter in those wee hours of the morning walks are a little more bearable than they were in the summer heat of Florida. I was either out in the dark before the sun came up or sweltering in the heat and humidity. There is often multi-tasking going on. I have a good headset that enables me to hear ambient noise (like cars, bikes or other pedestrians) so I practice my Spanish on SpanishDic!, I listen to podcasts, I listen to recoded books on Audible. And yes I sometimes surf the net and scroll through social media. Hey at least I’m moving.

On and off over this adventure of daily walking I tried to “do nothing” I part just be mindful or still. I’ve committed to spending 20 minutes or about 15% of my time walking to Mindful Walking. Even if you are in a northern climate there are only a few days when that would not be doable if you are dressed warmly. If I can walk in 91 degree heat and 97% humidity you can walk in 28 degrees. c’mon.

I’ve read a lot of articles about walking meditation and what I’m doing probably isn’t technically what many describe as a Walking Meditation but here’s what it looks like. I set a timer on my phone for 20 minutes. Alternatively the park I walk in has a 1 mile path so one lap would be about 20 minutes. Then just like any other meditation I focus on one thing and watch for the thoughts to come up. That one thing might be the beautiful scenery around me, or listening to the sounds around me, or noticing my breath, or finally what I did this morning was just focus on the cool breeze against my skin. On my face and arms. I also took note of the warmth of the sun on my skin. In short a bodycentric or sensation based meditation. When the thoughes come up I would simply note that I was thinking and then gingerly bring my attention back to the sensation of the air or sun on my skin.

This is a challenging practice for me. I have a busy mind by nature and there is a tendency to plan, organize, make lists in my head (shopping lists are a personal favorite) It’s the same stuff that comes up in a more traditional sit but my mind is busier when my body is moving.

Have you tried mindful walking? Let me know your thoughts.

Journaling / Reflective Writing

There are literally 100’s if not 1000’s of paths to mindfulness.   One of the most effective I’ve found is reflective writing or journaling.  This form of meditation forces you to go inward, notice your thoughts but also record them.  In this way you create a deeper self awareness. 

When this concept was first introduced to me in my Yogi training I always thought,  “Oh I’ll remember that, I don’t need to write it down.”    I’ve come to understand that there is a magic that happens when you put pen to paper.  There is something that makes your thoughts real by writing them down.   Whether you go back and re-read your journal or not, writing it out creates a deeper self awareness.    Some of you might be old enough to remember when you got in trouble in school you would have to write 100 times.   “I will not chew gum in class”    Sister Mary Agnes was on to something.   The act of writing something down reinforces this idea.   

I'm often asked, “Can I journal electronically?”   And the Yogi in me answers, “Of course, but why are you resisting using a pen?”      Just like you can use a meditation app on your phone, you can also use any of the myriad of electronic options available to journal.   Writing it in a google doc, or Google Keep.   Asking Siri to add something to your list.   None of these practices are inherently bad but this practice is designed to be a stilling, reflective practice.  It is designed to slow you down.   We are not looking at efficiency here.   

I also often hear,  “I’m not a writer.”    I get this one all the time.  Well, I  am a writer, and I use that fact as my excuse.   Journaling is not for publication, not to be shared with anyone (unless you want), not to be graded, and  not to be edited.   When I’ve gone back and read some of my journals some of the deepest insights are when I see a word I had written down and then crossed out.   Drawing a line through a word is so much more powerful than deleting and replacing.  An example is the word Journey … I saw the word crossed out and I had written Adventure in its place.   I understand now I was looking for a more positive word to express my experience. 

One thing that revealed itself for me is my perfectionism.  My pen doesn’t have spell check.   I can’t rearrange my copy.   I’ve learned that it’s okay I’m just releasing the thoughts in my mind; imperfect, illogical and sometimes downright nonsensical.   This is the process of self awareness not a place for self judgement. 

Here’s a list of reasons to try journaling.  

1. It helps sharpen your focus.

2. It turns your attention inward.

3. It can be used to increase positive thoughts.

4. It can be used to decrease negative thoughts.

5. It is easy to implement.

6. It has little or no cost.

7. It can be performed anywhere.

8. It can be performed at any age.

Here’s my short list of ideas on how to start journaling. 

Put it on your calendar  Many folks who regularly journal make it a practice to journal at a particular time.   Before bed, upon waking, or during a quiet afternoon coffee break.  Personally I commit to journaling 3 to 4 times a week.   I sometimes journal daily, other times I miss a whole week.   I have to say I feel better when I’m journaling regularly.   I always make it a point to record the day of the week, the date and time.   (Saturday, October 23, 2021 6:24am) 

Gratitude Journaling  Just making a list of the things that you are grateful for.   Reinforcing the positive things that happened in your day. Even the challenges or opportunities for growth that you experienced.  

Letting it out!  If something happens that is particularly stressful in your life and you find yourself ruminating on it,  try journaling.   I started a love journal once when I thought I found the partner of my dreams.   The idea was to gift it to them on our one year anniversary.   Over time it became a place for me to vent about my disappointment and frustrations and eventually about what I had gained from the experience.  The idea is not so much to dwell in what’s bothering you but to let it out and perhaps see it for what it really is. 

Reflection after a mediation.    After your meditation take a minute or two to write down any reflections.   Perhaps how the meditation went.   If it was easy or more challenging.   Or perhaps how you feel.   More insight might be gained if you elaborate about what came up in the meditation.   Were you bored?  Were you stuck on a particular issue?   Did an old memory surface?   I have had the practice of keeping my journal next to me so if there is a particular rumination that I can’t disconnect from, I stop and jot it down and come back to my meditation.   I have found that I have gained significant insight to how my brain works through meditation.   Writing it down just like was discussed earlier creates a lasting awareness.  

This last method has been so helpful I’m doing a workshop primarily focused on this type of reflective writing. Sunday, Nov 7, 2021 from 11am to 12:30. The cost is $22. Members of the YMCA, current coaching clients and past retreat participants can reach out to me about discounts.

Reflections on the Retreat - Sedona 2021

I’ve been conspicuously absent the last couple weeks and have missed my Mindful Mondays blog post and email. So here we go with a Thoughtful Tuesday.

As many of you know,  I hosted my first Wellness Retreat in Sedona, AZ on October 1-3.   What an amazing experience.  Check out the pictures below. Not only my first visit to Sedona, but also my first opportunity to facilitate a retreat. What a magical experience in a magical place.   I would like to thank my co-host Jennifer Nuzzo, personal trainer with DiverstaFit, former resident in Sedona, and exceptional tour guide.   I’d also like to give a shout out to our small and mighty group of participants.   We biked, hiked, worked out, explored nature, practiced yoga and meditation and discussed the benefits of pairing Mediation with Reflective Writing (or journaling).    I learned so much and am grateful for this experience. 

Activities included biking in Scottsdale before the trip up to Sedona,   After arriving in Sedona it was straight to hiking (climbing really) “Cathedral Rock”.   We also hiked up to “Devil’s Bridge”.   After settling in to our accommodations we met to go over our schedule and set our intentions. First thing Saturday Morning we were off to Snap fitness for an invigorating workout. Then to the pavilion for yoga. Later we had a a guest yoga instructor for sunset yoga at Sunset Park.  

Our morning mediation was relocated to The Amitabha Stupa and Peace Park once I realized that our Airbnb was only a short hike away. This sacred and beautiful place on the eastern side of Chimney Rock, widely believed to be the location of an energy vortex. While I did have the opportunity to discuss the topic of pairing reflective writing with meditation time ran short and we didn’t have time to expand on this. I’ve decided to do an online workshop to take a deeper dive into Journaling in combination with Meditation. You can sign here for the workshop I will have on Sunday, November 7 at 11am - 12:30pm Eastern STANDARD time. Click HERE to sign up. The cost is $20 for this 90 minute workshop. YMCA members receive a 33% discount and Retreat Participants can attend at no charge. Please reach out to me for the “Coupon Code”.

For my local Realtor friends who are member of the Pinellas Realtor Organization I’ll be speaking on this topic at Linda Goldfarb’s, Real Estate Masterminds on Monday Nov 15, 2021 at the Pinellas Realtor Organization.

Namaste.

Transformational Coaching: My Process

I’m often asked how I got started coaching and about my process I use when working with my clients. Today, I thought I would use this format to share how I was inspired to look for a coach, and the process I use with my clients.

For me the connection with my first coach was divinely inspired. I was in an abusive relationship living every day in fear. My partner at the time and I were attending a Real Estate conference and I attended a break out sessions ca;;ed Spirituality in Real Estate. I’m not kidding. The presenter Dale Alen-Rowse started his presentation by asked if anyone had ever been in a relationship they knew wasn’t right. I looked around the room and everyone, including me had a hand in the air. It dawned on me that I was probably the only one that was actually still in that relationship. I’m not sure what the rest of the presentation was about but I knew one thing; I knew I had to end my relationship. Later that day in another break out session the presenter asked a room filled with successful agents, Who in the room is working with a coach. Two-thirds of the room raised their hands. This time mine was not one of the hands in the air.

At that moment I had what I call my first “download”. I knew that I knew that I knew that I had to make a change in my life. It was an overwhelming feeling a calling of sorts and what can only really be described as a spiritual awakening. I also knew I needed to dig deeper into what spirituality meant to me. I was still reeling from the realization that I was in a relationship that I knew wasn’t right and also knew I was going to end when I got home. And now I knew i needed to hire a coach.

I ended the relationship first and then started on my mission to find my spiritual path and a coach.

The reason I share my story is that it illustrates that there is an awareness that change is needed. My best clients start their adventure in transformation with me knowing there is something that they need to change. Awareness is critical. By the time someone sits down with me they are keenly aware that there is a problem in their life; something that is holding them back, something that is causing them pain and suffering. What a later learned a yogi might call one’s “loudest noise”.

Later on my journey I found my way to my Yogic Training and it is these techniques used for over 5000 years that I use to affect transformational change in others.

My first step when I sit with a new client is a 90 minutes session I call a Loudest Noise Evaluation. This is where we dig in to uncover what exactly the problem is. Yogi’s don’t differentiate between the brain the body and the spirit. They are only interested in what is causing the pain and suffering. Said another what what’s holding you back. Once I have uncovered the source of the problem. I can dig into my Yogic tool kit for the prescriptive treatment. This might included but is not limited to a physical practice, meditation, mantra creation, reflective writing, journaling or a combination of these methods.

While this initial consultation includes a written prescriptive treatment and can be a stand alone, follow up appointment are critical. My most successful clients sign up for a 6 or 12 month package that includes weekly meetings via Zoom. Most often depending on what we are working on you need a coach to cheer you on and evaluate your progress.

If you are interested in learning more or just want to connect on Zoom or over the phone please follow the link HERE to my appointment page. In addition to the Loudest Noise Evaluation and Coaching I offer one-on-on in person Asana sessions for those who are working on a specific physical issue. I’ll cover that in next week’s blog.

Self Awareness: Seeing Things How They REALLY Are

I often remind folks that Yoga is a brain and life practice more than it is a physical practice. Of course we are getting stretching and strengthening out of the postures but there is so much more. All Yoga done authentically is a mediation. In the asana classes that most of us associate with Yoga, we are using the postures, the sensation in the body, and the instruction of the teacher as points of focus to calm the mind. In what most people see as meditation that point of focus is the breath, a sound or a candle flame. There are literally 1000’s of meditations. This is a process of noticing the thoughts when the arise and coming back to the point of focus. We are noticing how our unique brain works.

Like many practitioners, when I started I expected that the goal would be to stop the mind. I also assumed that the point was to get good at meditation. The few thoughts I was having the better I was meditating. If I stopped my mind I was doing it right. I would become extremely frustrated with myself because I couldn’t stop my mind. I presumed I just sucked at meditation. I would sit concentrate on my breath and then a thought would arise and I would say to myself, “See you did it again, you suck at this.” Nobody ever explained this to me.

These practices are simple but not easy to carry out in real time. They should present a challenge but that challenge should be appropriate. There are some days when I’m on a roll. I notice my thought and gently guide myself back. Other days I focus on my breath for 2 seconds just take off; one thought to the next to the next. I suddenly realize I’ve just been laying there for 15 minutes, planning my day, making a grocery list, and drafting emails in my head. To confound this progress in your practice is non-linear. One day I’m noticing the very first thought and gently coming back. Other days I still find myself making a grocery list and beating myself up for not doing it right!

So why do this? I’ve found for me that I’ve learned a lot about Bob, and how HIS brain works. While there may be some crossover in the ways our brains work each of us is unique. We are learning the skill of focus. We are learning how our brain works. We are learning how to come back when it starts doing what it does. When I’m working on a project, or in a conversation with a friend and I notice my brain taking off. I have the awareness, and go back to what I’m doing. I’ve heard the suggestion that during practice you just say to yourself “thinking” and gently come back. When I’m out here in the real world I just notice when I’m drifting and bring myself back. In conversations with others, especially lively ones I’ve noticed that I’m often not even listening but considering my reply or what I’m going to say next.

The more we practice the more we realize how our thinking can get in the way. We are not listening we are not seeing. The quieter we can make our thoughts the clearer we are able to see things how they really are.

So ultimately by practicing meditation regularly I’m getting better at life.

The Physical Postures - A Metaphor for Life

When I started my yogic training I thought I had an understanding about the deeper aspects of yoga. It was more than just being bendy. What I didn’t know is just how much bigger the practice was. When I found myself signing for training as a Yogi I was already on the path of self realization. I had graduated from 2 coaching programs and had several years of Al-Anon under my belt. I had also done a breathwork retreat and not one but two Ayahuasca retreats. Drinking tea

The studio where I signed up required an interview prior to accepting new students. The owner of the studio wanted to make sure the folks that enrolled understood that this was a powerful transformational modality. (see my other blog post on Trasformational v. Topical change)

There are many parts to Yoga and, and yes some of these practices are body centric. We are using postures to strengthen use where we are weak and stretch us where we are tight. In addition we use the postures to balance the body to put us in better alignment.

I was surprised that we didn’t just dive in on day one of our first intensive weekend and get to work on postures and their magical Sanskrit names. We were just sitting there on the floor talking. Talking about the human condition. The way our brains work and how we move through the world…. out there in the world. We were asked to set appointments with staff to have one-on-ones where we could take a deeper into our own issues. We were looking for the things in our life that were causing us pain and suffering. What? I though I was here to learn Yoga!! It was. Yogi’s don’t differentiate between body, breath, brain, life issues going on in our lives. This may be because they are all so interrelated.

A few weeks later we finally got around to actually doing what I thought we were there to do - Postures and Poses. I was so excited we were going to be workshoping the “Tree” pose. Although we didn’t call it that… If you’ve been following my blog we don’t use posture names. I was ready. Ready to show off, ready to perform. Not only am I bendy but I, for my age, have good balance. I was front and center a room filled with about 35 Teacher Trainees. Many of them much younger (and thinner) than me. Mind you we had already had already been exposed to this idea that what we do in the studio and what happens in the studio ofen shows up in the “real” world. Insert eye roll here. Let’s just DO this I was thinking. We painstakingly went through how to describe where to put our feet, how to stand what to think about. Step by step. “I know how to do this!” I was thinking. And then it happened. I fell out of the tree in front of everyone. Mister Perfect lost his balance and had to put his foot down. I was devastated. Why here why now … I can’t possibly fail here in front of all these Yoga Teacher Trainees. I wanted to die.

It probably wasn’t until months later that I finally got it. That moment. My moment of shame and humiliation was sometimes how I show up out in the real world. It finally dawned on me that this level of perfectionism was not serving me. Neither in the studio or out. Further exploration on this topic unveiled the level of importance I was giving to what other people thought. This was a very humbling experience. I had realized that if all I was concerned about was what other people think, I wasn’t taking risks; I wasn’t growing and I wasn’t learning.

I invite you to consider what shows up in your practice. Where does your brain go? Are you comparing yourself to others? Are you judging other in the room? Are you pushing too hard? Or not hard enough? Do the things that so up when you are in a yoga class or meditation show up in the rest of your life? As my Yogi, Chris Acosta always said, “Yoga is HARD. But it’s not always hard where you think it might be.”

Let me know what shows up for you?

Beginners Mind - Seeing Everything Brand New

How seeing things anew can benefit you.

I was in the park on my morning walk the other day and noticed a puppy on a walk. There was a noticeable feeling of joy emanating from the puppy. He was so excited! tugging at the leash, sniffing the ground, looking at the ducks and other walkers, snapping at dragonflies. It made me consider one of the foundational principles of yoga: Beginner’s Mind. This idea of trying to see things as brand new. The puppy of course was seeing everything brand new. Yogis see the benefit of in this practice of attempting to see the mundane as new. Looking at every day, every situation, every conversation, or even every sensation in the body as brand new.

It’s not to say that there is anything wrong with autopilot. It would suck if you had to re-learn how to get to work every day, right? This form of “autopilot” known as automaticity has its benefits. Getting to work, understanding someone speaking, playing a musical instrument, bathing, or brushing your teeth all are example of things we do unconsciously. There are times though when it doesn’t serve us.

During my Yoga training I was asked to consider two questions with regard to this topic of Beginner’s Mind. The first was, What IS going on in your brain when you are doing these things? Secondly, What are you missing by not being present? It was interesting to not that my mind was usually racing. Most often ruminating on a past event or planning some future event. Thinking worrying etc. This was most often very unproductive.

The answers to the questions came only after I learned to be present. Noticing what I was thinking for example when I was showering made me realize I was missing out on an opportunity for calm quiet self care by worrying about my day. If I was actually engaged in planning that would be different but it was completely unproductive. Once I had the awareness I started planning my day before bed and started to be presenting taking my showing. Feeling the water and using this time as a morning meditation.

As I learned to be present during conversations. Actively listening rather than planning what I was going to say next allowed me to become more engaged in the conversation. Gaining a greater clarity and understanding of what the other person was trying to say rather than just assuming I understood.

Transformational v. Topical change.

It was described to me in my Yogi training that the practice of Yoga is one of transformation.   In other words there are deeper and more permanent changes taking place.  This is in contrast to a quick fix or temporary treatment.   These temporary treatments are sometimes called topical treatments as they are just on the surface.   Because with a topical treatment no real change over time is taking place you continue to need the same amount of treatments and perhaps even more if  you build up resistance to the treatment.  Think of the pharmaceutical example.  Sometimes you need more and more of a drug to get the same effect.   We can further use that analogy as topical treatments like many drugs only treat the symptoms rather than the root cause.  

Transformational practices, on the other hand, work quite differently.  They work on the root cause of the issue.   Because you are actually making permanent changes, or in effect healing, you will need less and less of the particular treatment. 

Yogis deal on all levels of the human condition brain, body, and life.  These transformations can be seen in the physical body, the brain or in how we move through the world.   This is why the process of choosing a particular practice is so important.   If  you are feeling sluggish and down and want more energy.  A big energetic flow, or strength class may be in order.   If you are that busy brain, go-go-go person or have that “type A” personality a stilling class like a restorative class or even slower deeper guided meditation class like Yoga Nidra may be recommended.   If you take that busy brain person and put them in a busy, fast pace class it would have the potential of further distorting that condition.  Yogis are looking to help find a place of equilibrium.

Are you treating yourself at the surface or are you going deep?   If you need a recommendation on what practice or class might be right for you I can help you with that. 

Why don't you use posture names in your Yoga classes?

This is a great question and one I get a lot.   I had assumed when I started my Yoga Teacher Training, that Sanskrit posture names was one of the things I would be learning. I happen to love languages and thought it would be fun to add a handful of Sanskrit words  to my list of languages.   I also thought it sounded cool when a yoga instructor would say Chaturanga Dandasana or Urdhva Mukha Svanasana.  I wanted to be cool too.  

I was actually disappointed to learn that we would not be learning any Sanskrit.  That disappointment led to outright confusion when I learned we wouldn’t be able to use ANY posture names.   

Let’s start with why not Sanskrit.   it was explained that we wouldn’t teach anything in someone’s non-native tongue.   It’s hard enough to remember what a Dolphin or Dead Bug is or is that one called a Happy Baby?   I would sometimes be lost in a class at other studios when the instructor was barking out poses in Sanskrit and other students snapped into the posture.    “Maybe someday I’ll know all the posture names and be the one everyone else is watching for queues”, so I thought. 

Then I considered that this actually might make sense.  Why use another language to teach something to a room full of english speakers.   Then I did some research.  There are hundreds of languages spoken in India.   Sanskrit is spoken by less than 1% of the population  and is mostly used by Hindu priests during religious ceremonies.   So essentially nobody knows what these yoga teachers are saying except other yoga teachers or students who think it’s cool.   This unfortunately leaves the rest of us (including 99% of folks in India) in the dark.    I remember as a kid hearing from my older siblings  that back in the day Catholic Mass used to be in Latin.   For the most part that tradition ended  in 1965. I guess they figured out that wasn’t an effective way of carrying that message. 

So that’s all fine and good, but I have to use posture names!    How the heck am I going to tell the students in my class what to do next.   Well that answer was a little bit harder to wrap my head around.   First, just like with the Sanskrit names you will leave some folks out if you rely on using posture names.   Not everyone in the class knows the common english names for postures.   Is it Happy Baby or Dead Bug?   Is there a difference?   What about Table Top?   Everyone knows that one, right?   I thought so until someone told me that means front side to the ceiling in a Pilates class.   Okay I got it.   But can’t I just use some names?   “No”, my Yogi told me.   “All Yoga done authentically is a meditation”  he continued.   “We are trying to quiet the busy mind by giving the student something to pay attention to.”      I think I got it.   If you say “Down Dog”  the student can move into that posture (or what they think that posture is) and still mentally make out their grocery list,  or rehash that argument with their partner that morning.     They can stay in the busy brain.   If you say,  “Put your hands on the mat, fingers spread wide and gripping the floor.   Lift your hips into the air, straighten your legs to nearly straight with a slight bend in your knees as you push your heels to the floor.   Move your chest toward the knees, gaze toward the toes, crown of the head pulling down.   Phew…. That’s not easy for the instructor but it makes it a lot harder for the student to focus on anything but what’s going on with their body.   Now you have given the student an opportunity to focus on what’s important in the posture and practice some meditation. Got it?   If not, reach out to me.

How Meditation Changed my Life

I have made transformational changes in my life through meditation.  I move freer and easier through my day with less stress and less reactivity. I am aware of when my mind wanders and I’m able to be present in my life.   I have found my internal pause button. I am passionate about sharing my experience sharing this amazing tool with anyone who will listen. Now more than ever as spiritual beings we need to be present.  My journey towards awareness started with my meditation practice.

Almost everyone I tell about my transformation through meditation tells me at least one, and sometimes all of the following.  “I have tried it, but I’m not good at it.” “I can’t sit still.” And my personal favorite; “I don’t have time.” I get it; I used to say the same things.  I tried for years, yes years, to meditation before I found success. I want to save you time and fast track you into your meditation practice.

I’ve Tried But I’m No Good At It!

First I think is important to understand what meditation is and is not.    I used to believe that meditation was stopping the mind. Like blanking everything out, zoning out, or stopping all though.    I wasn’t able to do this so I was convinced that meditation was not possible for me. Every time I would attempt a meditation my mind would wander and my inner voice would say “see, you can’t do this”.   I began to think of myself as a failure. Two important lessons helped my out of this rut. Meditation is NOT the practice of stopping your mind. The only time your mind stops is when you are dead. It is part of the human condition for the mind to wander.  We are humans, we think. It’s what our mind does. Meditation is the art of bringing the mind back when it wanders.  Every time you have the opportunity to bring the mind back you are practicing meditation.  Returning to a single point of focus when the mind goes off is like flexing a muscle. If you never flexed your muscle you wouldn’t be building a stronger muscle.   Consider the wandering mind as an opportunity to flex your meditation muscle. It is a form of training. The second lesson was learning self-compassion. I was hard on myself.  Even once I understood how the practice works, I had some days (and still do) when my mind is off to the races and I struggled to bring it back, even for a second. I learned not to let those days get me down and walk away from my practice.   Growth in meditation is non-linear. It’s not like every subsequent sit will be an improvement from the last. Even gurus who have meditated for decades have days that are more challenging. Don’t give up.

I Can’t Sit Still!

Of course you can’t!  Look at the way we have been conditioned.    We live in a culture of doing. We are so-called experts at  multitasking. Our reliance on technology and mobile devices affords us the opportunity to be doing multiple things at once.   We can simultaneously be doing 8 things at once. Remember I’m not perfect but I am certainly becoming aware. Last night my 23-year-old daughter was over for her homemade birthday dinner.  A beautiful opportunity to be present and spend quality time with my baby girl. As I was making dinner I was simultaneously sending her birthday money through Venmo, texting my boyfriend in San Francisco, updating my calendar of events for the rest of my week, confirming my upcoming AirB&B guest,  sharing a friends post on Facebook, liking an Instagram story and pulling up a video on YouTube all while sharing what was going on in each other’s lives. Fortunately, and thanks to my meditation practice I did have the realization that this was happening and chose to be present for at least the next hour.   It’s no wonder we think we are incapable of sitting still. Most of us lack any real practice of being present and mindful. If we don’t know what it feels like to be present and really “in the moment” then we are blissfully unaware of what we are missing. It is important to understand that people with the most active and busy minds and life have the greatest potential to find benefit through meditation.   Just like the person with the stiff body has a much greater opportunity to solve that through a physical Yoga practice than a hyper-flexible individual. So if you are one of those people who can’t sit still you are the very one who will receive the most benefit from a meditation practice.

I Don’t Have Time!

“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes everyday - unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour.” ― Dr. Sukhraj Dhillon

Multitasking is not an inherently bad thing. .  For example,  we can consider and even rehearse  a conversation we want to have with a co-worker while driving to work.    We don’t have to think about the details of how to drive or the directions to our office.   This is called automaticity, the ability to do things without occupying the mind with the low-level details required.   Sometimes automaticity takes over when it shouldn’t.  Some things are actually low-level details, like driving a car,  and don’t need to occupy headspace. Others like the conversation you need to have with your co-worker need our undivided attention.   So when we get to the office and are having the conversation are we really being present? Or are we considering our response, or even worse are we thinking about the argument we had with our partner that morning at breakfast.    The reality is more often than not we are not present in most of the tasks we are working on. We spend an inordinate amount of our brain power thinking, ruminating or obsessing on thoughts and issues unrelated to the task at hand. that are not only not important but not even relevant to what we are trying to accomplish.  This is hugely inefficient. We end up having to circle back around because weren’t listening or failed to include some important aspect of the conversation because we were not present. While we think we’re really good a multi-tasking most of the time we are not. The practice of meditation creates awareness so we can see when our mind has wandered off.   We become more efficient and productive and waste less time. This includes balance in our personal life like fostering the relationship with our loved ones and children. When I realized what was happening last night with my daughter I was able to take corrective action and just be present with her.

Final Thoughts

Meditation is an avenue for transformational change.   It is a simple concept that sometimes hard to carry out. The benefits come over time from consistency rather than quality or duration of your sit.   The practice is ever evolves over time. Meditation is a tool we use to get better at life. My practice continues to unfold and deepen as I apply it in different ways and in different places in my life.