I have made transformational changes in my life through meditation. I move freer and easier through my day with less stress and less reactivity. I am aware of when my mind wanders and I’m able to be present in my life. I have found my internal pause button. I am passionate about sharing my experience sharing this amazing tool with anyone who will listen. Now more than ever as spiritual beings we need to be present. My journey towards awareness started with my meditation practice.
Almost everyone I tell about my transformation through meditation tells me at least one, and sometimes all of the following. “I have tried it, but I’m not good at it.” “I can’t sit still.” And my personal favorite; “I don’t have time.” I get it; I used to say the same things. I tried for years, yes years, to meditation before I found success. I want to save you time and fast track you into your meditation practice.
I’ve Tried But I’m No Good At It!
First I think is important to understand what meditation is and is not. I used to believe that meditation was stopping the mind. Like blanking everything out, zoning out, or stopping all though. I wasn’t able to do this so I was convinced that meditation was not possible for me. Every time I would attempt a meditation my mind would wander and my inner voice would say “see, you can’t do this”. I began to think of myself as a failure. Two important lessons helped my out of this rut. Meditation is NOT the practice of stopping your mind. The only time your mind stops is when you are dead. It is part of the human condition for the mind to wander. We are humans, we think. It’s what our mind does. Meditation is the art of bringing the mind back when it wanders. Every time you have the opportunity to bring the mind back you are practicing meditation. Returning to a single point of focus when the mind goes off is like flexing a muscle. If you never flexed your muscle you wouldn’t be building a stronger muscle. Consider the wandering mind as an opportunity to flex your meditation muscle. It is a form of training. The second lesson was learning self-compassion. I was hard on myself. Even once I understood how the practice works, I had some days (and still do) when my mind is off to the races and I struggled to bring it back, even for a second. I learned not to let those days get me down and walk away from my practice. Growth in meditation is non-linear. It’s not like every subsequent sit will be an improvement from the last. Even gurus who have meditated for decades have days that are more challenging. Don’t give up.
I Can’t Sit Still!
Of course you can’t! Look at the way we have been conditioned. We live in a culture of doing. We are so-called experts at multitasking. Our reliance on technology and mobile devices affords us the opportunity to be doing multiple things at once. We can simultaneously be doing 8 things at once. Remember I’m not perfect but I am certainly becoming aware. Last night my 23-year-old daughter was over for her homemade birthday dinner. A beautiful opportunity to be present and spend quality time with my baby girl. As I was making dinner I was simultaneously sending her birthday money through Venmo, texting my boyfriend in San Francisco, updating my calendar of events for the rest of my week, confirming my upcoming AirB&B guest, sharing a friends post on Facebook, liking an Instagram story and pulling up a video on YouTube all while sharing what was going on in each other’s lives. Fortunately, and thanks to my meditation practice I did have the realization that this was happening and chose to be present for at least the next hour. It’s no wonder we think we are incapable of sitting still. Most of us lack any real practice of being present and mindful. If we don’t know what it feels like to be present and really “in the moment” then we are blissfully unaware of what we are missing. It is important to understand that people with the most active and busy minds and life have the greatest potential to find benefit through meditation. Just like the person with the stiff body has a much greater opportunity to solve that through a physical Yoga practice than a hyper-flexible individual. So if you are one of those people who can’t sit still you are the very one who will receive the most benefit from a meditation practice.
I Don’t Have Time!
“You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes everyday - unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour.” ― Dr. Sukhraj Dhillon
Multitasking is not an inherently bad thing. . For example, we can consider and even rehearse a conversation we want to have with a co-worker while driving to work. We don’t have to think about the details of how to drive or the directions to our office. This is called automaticity, the ability to do things without occupying the mind with the low-level details required. Sometimes automaticity takes over when it shouldn’t. Some things are actually low-level details, like driving a car, and don’t need to occupy headspace. Others like the conversation you need to have with your co-worker need our undivided attention. So when we get to the office and are having the conversation are we really being present? Or are we considering our response, or even worse are we thinking about the argument we had with our partner that morning at breakfast. The reality is more often than not we are not present in most of the tasks we are working on. We spend an inordinate amount of our brain power thinking, ruminating or obsessing on thoughts and issues unrelated to the task at hand. that are not only not important but not even relevant to what we are trying to accomplish. This is hugely inefficient. We end up having to circle back around because weren’t listening or failed to include some important aspect of the conversation because we were not present. While we think we’re really good a multi-tasking most of the time we are not. The practice of meditation creates awareness so we can see when our mind has wandered off. We become more efficient and productive and waste less time. This includes balance in our personal life like fostering the relationship with our loved ones and children. When I realized what was happening last night with my daughter I was able to take corrective action and just be present with her.
Final Thoughts
Meditation is an avenue for transformational change. It is a simple concept that sometimes hard to carry out. The benefits come over time from consistency rather than quality or duration of your sit. The practice is ever evolves over time. Meditation is a tool we use to get better at life. My practice continues to unfold and deepen as I apply it in different ways and in different places in my life.